Being More Than A Parent - Be A “Friend” To Our Kids

When I shared with a friend that I still receive love messages from our boys, she expressed that it seems unusual that a teen would continue to be expressive of his love for his mother.

When I told others that my teenage boy would travel to the vicinity of my office to have lunch with his mother every week, they expressed surprise that a teen could still be so thoughtful.

Generally, is it really a norm that teenagers would likely start to distance from their parents?

When asked whether this close bonding is associated with the fact that I had been staying at home for a fulfilling 2 years, my sentiment is:

It takes more  effort from the parent than just being there full-time and merely playing a dutiful parental role

Seriously, having gone through a teenage phase myself, I do not think I was sensible then to appreciate when my mother played a dutiful parental role.

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Why Are Parents’ Good Intentions often Being Misinterpreted When We Try to Play That Dutiful Parental Role?

See what happens when a parent tries to play a dutiful parental role to a teen…

1. Ensuring proper food and lodging for the teen

Parents’ good intention:¬† Ensure the best well-being for our kids

Teen’s response : “Isn’t it a given?”

2. Make decisions for the teen

Parents’ good intention : Protect our children from risk

Teen’s response : “I have grown up. You are not respecting my rights to decide.”

3. Finding out more about our teen’s daily lives and social circle

Parents’ good intention: Protect our children from risk and understanding our children more

Teen’s response :”Please respect my privacy.”

4. Solving problems for our teen

Parents’ good intention: Facilitate a smoother journey in their lives

Teen’s response : “You are creating more mess in my life and you embarrass me by interfering.”

Certainly, the list could go on (probably I could consider writing another blog post on this topic) but what I wish to highlight is - “Is playing the dutiful parental role sufficient to create that magical touch in our relationship with our kids?”

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Me?

I choose not only to be a parent but also a friend to our boys.

“Friend” meaning …

Learn to be a little more Open-Minded, avoid using the parent trump card unless necessary, hide the superiority and seniority notion, accept freedom of speech and a little nonsense sometimes, shelf our ego, share at least a common interest and let the hair down and play along…..

You?

Are you ready to be friends with your kids?

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