Archive for the ‘Mom: Parenting’ Category

 

HUMAN MULTI-TASKING is such a PHENOMENON.

 

AT WORK, “one requirement” I mention to prepare new officers and at staff appraisal is the “ability to multi-task”. Of course, as an employee, I am required to REALLY multi-task too. 

[Frankly, till I lose my job focus sometimes.]

 

As working parents, our multi-tasking skill is further stretched.

We have been tested and proven that human ability to handle between 2 or more tasks AND aspiring to deliver the best for 2 or more important responsibilities at the SAME TIME —- IS POSSIBLE!

[although VERY CHALLENGING!!]

Yeah?

 Nowadays, I hardly hear about people implying that they do not need to multi-task.

———–

Even for my boys….In school, there are times when they have to be Group Leader/Monitor and STUDENT concurrently. Other times when they try to use that short interval of 20 minutes during recess break to rush off to bookshop, play with friends and still fill their stomachs.

At home, they are sometimes found playing or reading or even writing WHILE eating; singing while bathing; dozing off while doing school homeworks; AND reading while doing that business in the toilet.

 

For parents while at home, we multi-task among the housework, spending time with our kids, running our own errands and …….

Just that in parenting, we contentedly choose to and not being assigned to multi-task. Given that limited hours in a day to spend quality time  with family and for oneself…..

And when I have to see my PARTNER IN LIFE multi-task as a PARENT, especially these particular moments…..

It amuses me.

But it also demonstrates how an exhausted father could have chosen sleep but prefers — to relax and also spends time with his kids instead, in return for that FAMILY JOY. * I salute him*

 

Papa spending time with the boys on a game of chess while enjoying a leg and back massage.

 

Next, Papa playing 2 different types of Board Games, with two different boys at the same time.  I will never be able to concentrate like this on two games that require thinking unless I am out to lose..haha.

 

I am not sure if our boys APPRECIATE moments like these. However, I know they definitely ENJOYED themselves while I watched on this time - for a change.  Hence, every moment like this, is WORTH IT *grin*

 

The result of a parent’s equal attention for both kids and fairness despite multi-tasking - Abundance of Happiness and Laughters.  

 

Moments of multi-tasking like this for our family — are what MAKES our LIFE CHALLENGING but FULFILLING & COMPLETE.

And, we make full and good use of our time —- to develop super abilities and skills too *haha*.

 

 

At 7 years 1 month, he continues to

* Be complained by teachers for not paying attention in class

* Avoid doing school homeworks

* Deny his mistakes but never fail to give tell-tale signs with his eyes

* Wet his bed when he gets too cosy under his warm quilt

* Disturb his elder brother so often that they ended up in fights, until he lost a front tooth (Sigh! Sigh!)

* Jump three flights of steps at a time despite warning

* Laugh aloud as long as he is happy regardless of time and venue

* Gobble all his rice and noodles and leave the dishes intact

* Dance and dash instead of walk, until he ended up with a Panda Eye (Oh Gosh!)

* Speak as he wishes without thinking twice

* Leave his things everywhere at home except the designated spots

* Destroy things that he lays hands on effortlessly

* Be distance away even before we finish giving our instructions

* Create unnecessary actions sometimes just to see our angry reactions

* Pester persistently, hoping that we will surrender

 

 

Still..still… he remains such a lovely and innocent baby and it is unbearable to make him cry:)

 

However, it is also him who

* Brings much laughter to our lives, being always the most cheerful person at home

* Shows me what it is like to live with happiness for the moment and not worries for the future

* Sends me the most mushy love messages that I have ever received in my life since he learns to SMS a month ago

* Gives me surprises every now and then, with his thoughtful cards and sometimes hilarious actions

* Tries to play the big brother instead, showing Brendan how things can be done where his elder brother lacks the skill or confidence

* Teaches me that one can be independant and exploring to create that FUN journey in learning

* Wriggles besides me when I am sick, to tell me that he gave me a massage while I was asleep

* Cheers us up with his unique mannerism when things get tough at home

* Spreads joy and fun with his presence

* Volunteers to help out with little chores at home

* Displays to us that one can be versatile in life as long as he chooses to

* Convinces us that he is still a very SWEET BABY despite letting us blow our top sometimes

* Enables me to enjoy the JOY of a family life with siblings, a privilege that I have never had before

* Makes me look forward to his voluntary phone calls, almost everyday from school

* Never fail to delight us of the quick progress he can make in anything he does as long as he is serious and interested

 

His fun-loving and happy self:)

 

 

Sometimes, I wonder when he will start to observe some disciplines in life as he grows.  However, I LOVE the smiles on his face, the innocence that he shares AND  the excitement that he has and I WISH he can continue to enjoy his carefree childhood days.

I believe time might take away his playfulness and his innocence but time will not take away his fun-loving nature and sunshine that he brings to people around him.

 

EVERYTHING ABOUT DARREN — IS WHAT MAKES HIM VERY SPECIAL — AND HE WILL REMAIN TO BE SPECIAL ALWAYS IN OUR HEART.

IT HAS BEEN AN ENJOYABLE AND REWARDING JOURNEY TO TRAVEL WITH HIM IN OUR LIVES. 

- {A special love dedication from mommy as Darren turned 7 years old.}-  

 

Singapore may be small.  However, I love the easy access to the beaches and also the large number of parks.

Nature never fails to give me the serenity that I need and keep my young ones “well and healthily” occupied too.

[instead of following mommy uninterestingly in a shopping complex.]

 

There are a number of beaches cum parks here eg. East Coast Park, Pasir Ris Park and Labrador Park. 

 

 

Labrador Park, besides its beach, diversity of flora and fauna, is an educational site too - rich with historcial relics (click to read our previous post on Labrador Nature Reserve).

 

In the photos above, the boys were standing before a symbolic replica of the Dragon’s Teeth Gate (Long Ya Men).

The Dragon’s Teeth Gate used to be located at the gateway to Keppel Harbour in Singapore, to provide navigational aids. It was useful as navigational aids to Ming Dynasty’s Admiral Zheng He during his maritime voyages to the west.  Read more about its history HERE.  

 

More photos of historical relics here.

 

Children being children. What interests them most are still …..

 

The BEACH…..

where people are fishing, enjoying that cool breeze and where Brendan gazed at the sea “wordless” (obviously in deep thoughts).

 

 

 

The PARK……

where they can stroll, jog, run, cycle and basically “HAVE FUN”.

 

 

A park will not be complete without its flora and fauna.

I am a plant lover and colourful blooms are always an attraction.

 [Photo courtesy by Papa Ed as I got too distracted by the pair of lover butterflies to capture any shots....haha.]

 

 

Bring your kids to the park and open their world to the habitat of the flora and fauna.

If we are paying enough attention, we might have a close encounter with the insects and fauna.

Darren, sometimes enjoys spotting them. Other times, he will flee off after his brother with their chasing games *Smile*.

And….

My boys always finds extra fun, playing with the puppies of other park lovers.

 

 

 

 

THE PLAYGROUND….

Kids love playground. Seriously, adults play at the playground here too….. One of them is ME…haha.

This is the place where I mentioned in a recent post about the MAZE and hide-and-seek where I had fun with my boys.

 

 

So, do expose your kids to more Greenery and Healthy Lifestyle while they still care to tag along with the parents.

There is a whole Green Environment out there!

It is certainly more comfortable to stay in air-conditioned complex with the kids.

But

the sweats and the walk at the Green Outdoor is definitely more WORTH IT!

 

When Mama is sick,

She can stay away from work,

She can postpone her housework for a few more days

But it is tough for her to take time-off away from her responsibilities as a mom.

Agree?

 ——–

I guess when a Mama is sick, she will remain concerned whether her young children have been eating well, completing their school homework, being neglected, taking good care of themselves….

Yes, there is no Sick Leave from Parenting.

At least, for me, my children’s well-beings will always be above mine…even when I am sick or busy.

This is also the unconditional love of a mom as I witnessed in my mom and also friends who are moms.

 ——–

When I fall sick, it is common for my young one to crawl up and down of my bed, blast my ears with loud TV volume, rattle into my ears with my eyes closed and pester…

Despite all these, when I open my eyes from those interrupted sleep- the bright smile that I see, the warm touch from their little hands and the sincere gaze into my eyes - never fail to make me feel better *Smile*.

 

When we fall sick, nothing is more important than having our family around us, to show their care and concern and lend a helping hand.

For this, I am glad that Papa Ed is here to help with all the domestic chores and remind this stubborn mommy to swallow those large pills.

And the boys are learning to take care of themselves and squabble less when mommy is sick these few days. I am taking a short break to finally treat my health with care.

I am truly thankful when I compare to those years, when I had to juggle alone, with 2 young kids, even when I was sick.

This is another lesson in life to teach me not to take people and things for granted.

[Thank you! To my 3 guys at home]

 

Once in a while, we immerse ourselves in our kids’ world.

We play PS3, arcade and ball games together. We play hide-and-seek and chasing. We engage in water splashing challenge in the pool. We allow the kids to win us in board games. He crawls/climbs with the kids at the playground.  I let my hair down and sing/dance with the kids. He challenges the kids to games of arm wrestling. Many more…

These are our childish moments together *hee*.

[I find these moments easier to treasure and remember instead of those shopping and movie watching moments together.]

 

 

It is FUN!

It enables us to relive our childhood life and  experience the joy that we have never had before.

It allows our Papa Ed, who usually plays the firm father role, to show his fun-loving side to the kids.

It makes us feel YOUNGER although not as energetic as before.

It allows our kids to feel a sense of pride because these are some moments that they can outshine their parents *haha*.

Most importantly, these are one of those QUALITY TIME that we engage ourselves with our kids. All enjoy it!

And…I would very much like our kids to carry these memories with them even as they grow - the PARENT TIMES that we have much FUN, LAUGHTER and ENJOYMENT together as a family.

Yay!

 

See what I mean when I say that it is FUN….we  find true meanings in this fun way of bonding *smile*.

 

The kids hiding from mommy

 

Mommy giving chase

 

Darren claiming victory because mommy was slower to find her way out of the maze

 

I love the bright smiles on the kids’ faces

 

Never too old to be sporty..hee.. not that we are that old now.

 

 

Not as agile as before but never a constrain to be part of our kids’ play

 

After becoming a mom….

Haiz…then, I realised:

- how one would feel for her repeated reminders to be ignored and yet being regarded as nagging.

- why one would nag for having to clear up the mess that others repeatedly create at home.

[Yeah, I have my fair share of  "being turned deaf ears" in my little family.]

 

Imagine, we used to live in a world of our own.

When we started our family of 2 lovebirds, there have been …and still are…. adjustments and adaptations to make “living under one roof”.

Then, when we proceeded to a family of 4 members, there have been…and still are…much more adjustments and much ORDER to maintain at home.

 

See why we need to maintain ORDER at home amidst these: 

[Hello mothers, do these scenes seem familiar to you?]

- The house messed up again, shortly after you have just tidied it

- Rice, noodles and bread crumbs spread all over the floor and yet the young culprit does not even bother to pick it up

- Your personal items are often missing for no reasons and one day it will make a sudden appearance

- The busy people at home are too forgetful to keep the door closed in an air-conditioned room or even the door of the wardrobe closed but never fail to deny it is them

- The lights and fans are so often not turned off when not in use

- Kids sprawling on the floor to do their homework when they been reminded thousands of times to use their proper tables

 

See what I mean in this candid shot…

 

So, you know what I mean when the habits or scenes that you dread keep re-surfacing.

 

Yeah, there are differences in lifestyles and habits of family members living together.

As parents, we nag because we cannot understand why each of our family members cannot even show a little cooperation to keep the house neater or behave like how we wish them to be.

As spouse, we grumble because we cannot understand why our spouse cannot respect us in doing away with living habits that he/she obviously knows that we detest.

As people’s children, we cannot appreciate why our parents have to keep enforcing the need to maintain their preferred habits in our lives and what is the big deal when someone else can do it for us…..sigh a mentality that we have…until we become people’s parents.

 

If we insist our way, then there is never an end to the frustrations over the slightest incompatibility of living habits at home.

Perhaps, we should learn to close an eye and appreciate that a community is not made up of creatures of the same species..haha. 

Till that day comes, I am still learning to accept or take it easier over the living habits of members at home….NOW as a mother and wife.

I can’t complain because my life will never be so CHALLENGING without these GEMS in my life.

I can’t complain because I could never have felt the similar frustrations that my mother had until I become a mother.

 

As for you, do you have similar stories to share?

 

Lately, I have not been feeling too well.

It is true that STRESS somehow can make one feel sick.

[Take my advice: Don't let STRESS accumulate. We are not invincible.]

 

So, last week, I made time to go to the hospital for a medical check-up.

Though I didn’t express it, I actually felt worried (These are the kind of self-imposed worries when one delays a medical check-up for too long, often citing excuses like busy, I am feeling better now etc.).

Yeah, I am guilty.  I have allowed PRESSURE to affect my health *frown*.

 

Just when I was sitting there waiting ages for my scanning to be done, someone dropped me THE SWEETEST SMS - when I least expected it.

This person actually remembered the appointment time of my scanning and doctor’s consultation*smile* (Ha, I won’t be so surprised if it had come from hubby who was actually with me for the check-up).

 

 

The most touching part - it is one of the rare time that I received a motivational SMS from my boy, Brendan - just when I needed it. I didn’t think that my young one will be mindful of a medical appointment that I vaguely mentioned.

Hee…Telepathy?? 

I reckon that my boy appreciates his parents’  love and concern for him when he had his little accident recently. He is reciprocating to show his care and love.

I am touched by this thoughtful and sincere SMS *sweet smile*.

[This is another encouraging moment of motherhood despite the other moments of frustrations]

 

One of the things that I fear most would happen to my children - happened again yesterday.

We received an emergency call from school. Brendan had quite a bad fall in school!

Oh Gosh! With a knock on the forehead, a cut and very swollen lip, and a limping leg, we had to rush him to A&E

[That is the risk of a child who runs with a heavy school bag. He apparently was rushing for his school bus due to late dismissal when he fell.]

 

Caution: The following photo may make you feel uncomfortable.

 

 

It has been a few encounters that Brendan had been sent to A&E for different reasons like a swollen forehead, injured leg, a bone in the throat - the little unpleasant incidents while in school.  

I know that no parent enjoys the experience at a A&E especially when the child appears weak, bleeding or suffering from injury.

 

 So, you can imagine what happened next when an anxious mom was in the A&E with her child who was bleeding, complaining of pain and lethargic, and having to wait for hours.

[Sigh, even an usually COOL mommy can behave PANICALLY under this situation]

 

The anxious Mommy (myself) was ….

[Somehow, does this sound familiar to you as a parent?]

 

- pacing up and down constantly enquiring when the child can be attended to (the 2 hours of waiting before the doctor appeared for initial diagnosis can really become hours of agony!)

- requesting for wheel chair, blanket, pillow and then regularly reminding the nurse for an empty bed for the child in the observation ward as soon as one was available

- constantly peeping at the board and wondering why the queue number was not moving

- praying hard while never failing to encourage the worried child

- trying to feel the pain of  the child

- keep checking on the child “hoping” to get the answers that he was feeling even better

- feeling sorry that the painful child was also suffering from hunger after hours of waiting for doctor

- negotiating with doctor whether a sedation is really necessary to perform the stitching on the lip (since there are all these side effects of faster heartbeats etc) and also what would  happen if there are complications since the child was also having a slight head injury)

- wondering what would be next since the child has to go through consultation, WAITING, X-ray, WAITING,consultation, MORE WAITING,  treatment of the lip with the cut and bleeding, WAITING AGAIN ….. 

 

Arghh….I am sure I do not have to describe further the feeling of an anxious mommy when her child is injured and the agony of WAITING. 

I could miss my meal or any other matters while waiting with him BUT I will never do less to compromise the health of my son.

Oh dear, a mommy can really feel as painful as the child especially in her heart.

 

 

Alas, after many hours…. PHEW!

Fortunately for us, there was no sedation, no stitching and Brendan was treated under a course of antibiotics and painkiller. We have been advised to monitor him since the fall had hit the head, the legs and we have decided to leave the open wound on the lip unstitched and to heal on its own.  Doctor did not want any complication with the usage of sedation in view of Brendan’s dizziness.

 

Next few days, I will be balancing between the organisation of Singapore National Day event  at work AND at the same time, nursing Brendan and observing his conditions.

It is going to be tough but….

I am glad that I have the company of Papa Ed this time.

[In past years, Papa Ed had been stationed overseas and that feeling of always being the only one with the kids in the hospital or nursing them can be really awful.]

 

As for now, I am just thankful that the ordeal will soon be over.

[Brendan, have a speedy recovery. Mommy, Papa and Didi love you. We are here for you *pat pat*.]

 

One night, I felt frustrated.

Everyday seems a Mad Rush Against Time, meeting everybody else expectations.

We feel frustrated once in a while, with endless things to do and when we start to feel overloaded and unappreciated, and when we can turn to nobody else.

Sometimes, we contain our frustrations well.  However, there will be these days when somehow, we seem more bothered and that is when we start to show our frustrations.

So, that night I was irritated. I became impatient and short-tempered.

——-

Then, as I went back to my room after a bath, I got a pleasant surprise.

There, standing beside my notebook was a sexy “Wonder Woman”.

[That Wonder Woman was a figurine that came with the purchase of a magazine by Papa Ed and that figurine has been kept by Darren.]

 

Pressed below the figurine was a note that read: “Surprise! I love Mummy. Mummy is a wonder woman.”

That was a token of appreciation, love and comfort - from my two little boys who can turn my world upset down on one hand and yet continues to bring the greatest joy in my life on the other hand.

Next, I heard some giggling and then the two boys appeared beside me all smiles, with a ”Surprise! Hehehe!”

At that moment, I felt guilty.

Err… my “mood swing” for that night somehow made a 360 degree turn.

[Never know that there is any antidote in this world that can cure frustrations and irritation so effectively, haha].

 ——–

Hmm…I have experienced the POWER of a child’s little thoughtful gesture on a mother. 

“Think not of what we have been contributing for our children. Instead, think of what they have been contributing for us - building in us that strength and forbearance.”

This is my belief.

 

Familiar with this clapping  hand?

 

Somehow, we have collected three of them..in different sizes and colours…as items in the party bags that the boys have received over the years *hee*.

A small little toy it might be.  However, I find this clapping hand extremely useful.

 

 

Just imagine…..

 

The Smiles It Brings as a “PACIFYING TOOL”.

As babies - the “hand” is useful in getting their attentions and attracting the sweetest smiles out of their faces.

 

The Appreciation It Helps to Give as a “MOTIVATIONAL TOOL”.

When the children are good and do the parents proud - the “hand” helps to cheer and encourage the children with “loud applauses”. See the effect on the children when the COOLEST CLAPS are accompanied with ”GOOD JOB! KEEP IT UP! I AM PROUD OF YOU!”

 

The Joy It Promotes as a “HAPPINESS TOOL”.

When everyone is happy or in a celebration mood - the “hand” adds to the joyous mood. Sense the joy in everyone as it is accompanied with happy laughters and smiles.

 

Well, this is really useful, isn’t it?

[As parents, we try our own ways to show our children our appreciation, motivate them and share their joy and pride.]

 

Recently, we discovered another usefulness of our smallest pair of plastic hand *grin*.

 

Hmm…I carry it with me when we are out with the boys.

When repetitive verbal reminders to the boys fail to work ….. when no amount of warnings can get the boys to stop squabbling especially while in the car… when our blood starts to boil and we don’t wish to utter regretful words….when ”1, 2, 3! I say stop!” does not work…… 

Then, this hand becomes our ultimate “WARNING TOOL“. With a few claps of the hand, accompanied by ”Enough!” or “Keep Quiet!”, it is to convey to the boys that they have exceeded our tolerance level.

At least for this special usefulness, it is under trial and we hope the effect of this ”NO NONSENCE” approach will last *keep fingers crossed*.

 

So, do you also own a “handy hand” or have you come across one before?  Has it been useful?

 

Time flies.

I might not have noticed it.  But when I looked through our photo collection, I realised how fast Brendan has grown in height.

Well, as he grows, I must also learn to accept the number of wrinkles that would one day surface on my face. How I wish that day will never come.

As it is, time waits for no man.

I want them to grow and yet I don’t want to be reminded that I am getting older. This is so typical when we reach certain age, isn’t it?

 

This photo was taken in year 2006 when Brendan was 7 years old.  He head has reached my waist.

 

This was taken in 2009 when he was turning 10 years old. His head has reached my chest level.

 

This one was taken in 2010, a few days ago, when he is almost 11 years old. His head has reached my shoulder!

 

How fast he is catching up with this 1.68 metre tall mommy! Or am I shrinking in height? *oops*

I still can’t believe that it seems just not too long ago when I was carrying him in my arms

[Bren, this post is dedicated to you. See how fast you have grown!]

 

Haha..looking at things positively, I will soon have another MAN at home who can reach height limits for me, where I can’t. *grin*

The days when I am the only one to reach “unreachable shelves” without the aid of a stool or ladder, will soon be over. *wider grin*

 

So, have you been keeping track of your child’s growth and height?