Archive for the ‘Inspiration’ Category

 

“Believe it can be done. When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it. Believing a solution paves the way to solution.”
- By David Joseph Schwartz-

 

Our MIND is like a KEY to UNLOCK all our POTENTIAL and RESERVATIONS.

Of course, just believing is not sufficient.   Put in efforts and actions to do the Good and we shall see fruitful results one day.

Well, the mind really plays such an important role in controlling our course of actions and body.

 

It is so true.

If I had not BELIEVED that I could STRIVE to get out of those pitfalls in my life especially in the last decade, I will not be grateful for the abundance of joy I have today. 

Hmm..I have to learn to BELIEVE in myself to garner more strength.  I am tired.

 

 

This is a pot of Desert Rose (”Fu Gui Hua” in Chinese) that I have kept for years. Some people buy them during Chinese New Year. Others keep them all year long.

I love this flowering plant for its “strong will, toughness and beauty”. Mine blooms red flowers but others produce pink flowers too.

 

 

Give it plenty of sunlight and it will survive in hard conditions and with little water and minimal care.   

Like any other plants, it withers. I have seen it shed its leaves till it becomes almost leafless. At that moment, it does not look attractive or the way I have wished it to be.

However, give it a little patience, then new leaves will form. Give it a little more patience, then it will fill you with joy with its clusters of bright flowers.

It never disappoints me.

I am glad that I have never given up on this plant. Mine is blooming now with many beautiful and cheerie flowers. It is such an enjoyable sight.

 

Look at these beautiful blooms:)

 

Yes. This might just be a plant. However, it relates to life, doesn’t it?

 

“By being patient - our efforts will bear fruit.

By not judging someone’s appearance or one-off behaviour - we learn to value that someone’s beauty one day.

By providing the right elements in life - we  appreciate that different individuals excel and be inspired under different conditions.

By not giving up on others easily - we live with no regrets one day.”

- Parentimes-

 

Learn not to GIVE UP EASILY on someone else - especially our loved ones. The “bloom” might be a pleasant surprise.

As for me, I am glad that I have not given up. I took the risk and I believe in a second chance, especially for my loved ones.  I made my choice and at least, I try.

Ask this question: “Have we given up or pass final judgement on someone else too easily?” <ponder>

 

Noise. This is certainly never lacking in our lives, having two young boys.

They talk loudly and argue so often in the car, at home, on the street…. Any place you can name it.  As long as they are together and awake.

“Keep quiet”! ‘Talk softer!” These are so often coming out from Papa Ed’s and my mouths, that we have lost count of it. It is funny how we become part of the noise creation too when trying to get our boys’ attention to stop their arguments. *LOL*.

 

The other day, I overheard Papa Ed in a begging tone to Darren :” I am having headache. You are so noisy. Pl keep quiet ok?”

Next, Papa Ed was saying that we should buy pacifiers for the boys. Though I know he was joking, I also know that we are at wits-end when it comes to getting the boys to quieten even for a short moment.

Hence, we parents seem to be at the mercy of our boys, when no amount of warnings seem to quieten them, to give even a 5-minute of peace *sigh*.

[I am not sure, what is the situation when parents have a combination of boy and girl or solely girls. Are they less noisy?]

 

 

So, we often yearn for a day when the boys can learn to argue less, shout less and ramble less.

 ……..

Well,

Till that day, when someone enlightened me….

 

A mother of a young boy (around Brendan’s age) was telling us “You should be thankful that they are born to be able to talk“.

She is right. It suddenly occured to me that the next time we fret and complain, we should learn to look at the positive side of things.

 

Yes, we should be thankful that :

- the boys are blessed to be able to talk

- the boys are quick-witted to be able to challenge each other in their speeches

- we are blessed to have two healthy and lively boys who will never be lonely as long as they have each other’s company

- our lives are no longer lonely and boring since the boys fill our lives with voices

- they are part of our lives and enjoy these endless conversations with us and each other 

 

Despite the frustrations when they refuse to cooperate. Despite the lack of peace.  Despite our complaints.  Hmm…I must learn to be thankful.

 

 

Brendan is nearing his teenage phase. As they grow, I will miss the days when the family used to be filled with noises and laughters.

Indeed, they have coloured our lives with different episodes everyday. Perspectives become better when we think positively, isn’t it?

I am learning to count my blessings as  a parent.  What about you?

 

Would you prefer to be a “Big Fish in a Small Tank” or “Small Fish in a Big Tank”? I was asked.

 

Hmm….my choice is to be a “Small Fish in a Big Tank”.  This gives the opportunity to explore and interact, the room to grow and most importantly, sufficient space to breathe!

 

I can never imagine myself being restricted - confined in a small space, with no room for expansion, and limited movements!  Nope, I wouldn’t want to be in that small space …. even if it means that I could be the “biggest” being in that small set-up to overpower everyone else.

 

What is your choice?

 

Then….

Can you imagine a real fish trapped in a small container that hardly provides enough space for it to move? 

 

 

When I was in China a few months ago, I came across these fish that were sold in REALLY TINY containers. I wonder how long these poor fish would have to stay in such terrible condition if there were no buyer? How are they going to swim or even grow? Sigh……

 

 

……..

 

Back to real life, I am sure if you feel like me, you wouldn’t want to be “that fish in a small tank”.   Would you?

 

Bearing a little lesson in mind, I guess I did right these years by learning to move out of my little comfort zone and venturing out.  Similarly, I wouldn’t want my kids to grow up only wanting to be that “fish in a small tank”.

 

Thanks to friends who send us inspirational quotes - every now and then.

 

These often serve as useful fruits for thoughts AND they come in handy too in certain point of our lives - especially when life is not always easy.

 

So, here are some meaningful ones for sharing:)

 

Have a wonderful weekend!

 

 

 

I was making payment at a bookshop the other day when my little one ran up to me with a magnet in his hand.

On the magnet, it stated “GREATEST Mum“.

 

 

I looked at my boy with a grin while he insisted that I buy the little magnet as his gift for me.

So I paid for the magnet for myself at less than S$3 (a gift that was meant for me)…haha..

The difference is - it is a warm appreciation, a sweet thought……from my little one *smile*.

Hmm….I am gonna treasure this little magnet for a long long while……

 

 

Most interestingly, he told me to place the magnet at my workstation at home .

What a great idea! Whenever I am overwhelmed by frustrations or angry with the boys, it reminds me that “Hey! I am The Greatest Mum or I am trying to be The Greatest Mum, and I am gonna cool down and be patient!”*lol*.

 

********

 

I believe in our children’s heart, we are the Greatest Mother except that they might not always express it:)  Believe it in our heart and we will get that additional motivation everyday…..

Our love for our children are limitless.

 

To all Mothers: 

Here’s wishing all Mothers -  “Happy Mother’s Day” , “Happy Motherhood“. We deserve a BIG PAT on our shoulders *3 cheers*.

My Special Gratitude To My Mother….more than words can say.

 

To all Fathers:

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”
- Theodore M. Hesburgh-

 

Let me share a little scenario……

A woman was at a clinic with her son and daughter.

 

The daughter…………….

The daughter was occupying two seats, ignoring other young and elderly patients’ needs to sit.  Throughout, the daughter (who looked in her early teens) was oblivious to other patients staring at her while she complained non-stop (in high volume) about having to wait for her turn and also throwing unreasonable tantrum on her brother who looked half her age.

 

She became the centre of attraction as she started to squat on the floor instead “counting down numbers” (while she impatiently waited for her turn) and then later decided to throw her tantrum on her mother instead.

[The daughter obviously was not concerned about anybody else "commenting" on her bad attitude or her selfish and disrespectful actions.]

 

 

The mother……………..

The mother was patiently listening to the daughter’s senseless complaints and also watching on as she engaged in her “Little Missy’s” acts. It made one wonder how she could tolerate the long session of her teenage daughter throwing tantrum on her.  Then, till a certain point (about an hour later), the mother finally raised her voice at her daughter.

[The mother's patience thinned as her daughter refused to stand up from her squatting position despite blocking other's way and as her endless compaints became noise pollution. ]

 

The father………………

The father, who has just stepped in a few minutes earlier, was fast to come to his daughter’s rescue. Instead of standing by the side of the wife, who has reached her maximum tolerance, he extended his arms to pat the daughter’s back and comforted her despite her nonsensical complaints. As a result, she had someone to back her up and so she continued with her attitude…

[In case, you are wondering, the daughter is not mentally ill. The father's reactions had overruled the wife's rights to finally start disciplining the "out of hands" daughter and given his daughter the concurrence to continue acting wilfully.]

 

THIS IS A REAL SCENE THAT I WITNESSED AT A CLINIC.

 

 

If you were the parents, what would you have done to effectively stop this girl who apparently seemed very hard to control?

 

As onlookers, I find the daughter’s behaviours totally unacceptable and the parents’ reactions - disappointing. 

 

However, as parents, have we been guilty of committing the same mistake too?  What is the message that we learn from this story? 

 

DO NOT:

- take side when one parent is discipling the kid.

- openly disagree with each other’s approach of disciplining or ending up in unhappiness instead.

- hesitate disciplining the kid (especially when the kid has gone extremely “out of hands”) in public for fear of humiliation or someone else taking side.

- ignore the fact that it is parents’ responsibilities to point out the right attitudes to the kid (eg. graciousness in giving up seats to others who need it more, the beauty of patience, basic courtesy).

- show inability to react in the right manner when faced with misbehaved kid in public.

- forget to establish clear boundary for ourselves (in this case, will be to what extent the parents allow the kid to be misbehaved and “ride on the parents’ heads”).

 

 

TO TAKE A CLOSER LOOK AT OURSELVES:

Kids with attitude problems can be a REAL HEADACHE for parents.

 

We are prone to judge others.

However, when faced with these situations, parents might fail to take a closer look at OURSELVES or our own reactions/solutions.   

At times, we might let our emotions  control our head OR surrender in exhaustion and helplessness OR simply not bothered about what others are perceiving us to be.

[As parents, you might agree that our image tends to get affected whether we "take actions" or not when our kids misbehave in public.

When parents scream our head off, others would say that we cannot even manage our emotions BUT when we keep quiet, others might think that we are parents who support the kid's misbehaviour.  So, it is never so easy not to be judged in either way *haiz*].

 

Instead of being critical on other’s actions, why don’t we reflect their actions on ourselves?  In this way, we will see clearer and ask ourselves whether we might be making the same mistakes too.  It is often EASIER to see other’s mistakes without reflecting the consequences when it happens on ourselves instead.

 

Then, how can we manage better and avoid the “DO NOTS” above when disciplining our kids?

 

[Would love your comments. ]

All of us have fear. One of my fear is “HEIGHT”….especially standing at a certain height without surrounding walls.

 

The embarrassing thing is-  for what I fear most, my young kids and hubby do not. So, when we are out for fun and when I don’t want to dampen their mood, I follow them in doing what I tend to fear most…REACHING CERTAIN HEIGHT.

 

So being a mom has its joy but also challenge. Guess what? I learn a precious lesson from these challenges- something to share with my young ones - ”The only way to overcome our fear is to face it!”

 

Here are some photos of us, engaging in activities at a HEIGHT.

Now, what is your greatest fear? What do you do to overcome it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone has our fair share of unpleasant moments in life. These bring much UNHAPPINESS.

 

When you feel unhappy, is it solely because you are facing difficulties in life?  Could the world be a happier place for everyone to co-exist if we compare less, demand less, lower our expectations, look at less fortunate people around us, learn how to let go and move forward, and start counting our blessings?

 

Like everyone else, I have my encounters of hard times in life.  So, we have our frustrations and sorrowful days. I am happy to walk out of those moments by persevering, staying motivated by what I have, and seeking inspirations from people who knock some positive senses in me.

 

I believe that - mingling with positive-minded people and reading motivational books - do have some power in influencing our perception of happiness in life.

 

 

I enjoy reading motivational books that gives me the strength to keep moving on in life, no matter how tough it might be sometimes. Amongst others, Andrew Matthews’ books are one of those that I read.  Here is one of my book collections “Follow Your Heart” by Andrew Matthews. He has a new book  “Happiness In Hard Times” and surely, I will be reading it. 

 

 

I find the following essence of happiness by Andrew Matthews motivating and helpful. Is it also meaningful to you?

 

1. Gratitude. Miserable people concentrate on what they don’t have. Resolve to wake up everyday and look at what you have.

 

2.  Do Not Blame Others. Take responsibility. Happy people do their best, giving themselves the best chances to feel good about themselves.

 

3. Happiness is a decision we make. It doesn’t happen by accident.

 

4. Accept what you have and where you are at and move on.

 

5. Get up tomorrow and focus on what you have. Keep on looking for the good things in your life and you will keep finding more. We are an energy system. The more we focus on our abundance, the more we will get.

 

STAY HAPPY:)

 

My little one, Darren, shared with me a little lesson one day.

 

Darren: “Mommy, I lose the game.”

Mommy: “So Gor Gor (elder brother) and Jie Jie (our ex-domestic helper) are still playing?”

Darren:”Yes, but nevermind that I lose. Because I know I will win on another day if I try and try again. Right, mommy?”

 

Though a short conversation, I was happy to know that my little one is not easily dishearterned by defeat and feels that there is always another chance that he will win again *Big Grin*.

 

I like this attitude.

 

“It’s not that you won or lost…but how you played the game.”

- Grantland Rice -

 

 

On another day, Brendan called me and I could hear the disappointment in his tone for achieving a 24 out of 30 marks for his Science paper. My elder boy has been quite a high achiever and is always determined to do his best. On the contrary, I thought that score was good considering the higher standard.

 

I am happy to be blessed with a son who is sensible enough to do his best. So far, his hardwork has been fruitful.

 

However, from another perspective, I am also concerned.  His strong eagerness to only succeed  and excel might cause the inability for him to face any failure in future. So, I must be mindful of guiding him to set reasonable expectations and understanding that overcoming setbacks is  part of the process to success.

 

 

So, my two boys - two different perspectives. 

 

I admire Darren’s positive atttitude to accept setbacks. But I think it is time that he understands that he needs to put in a little effort too in his work.

 

I appreciate Brendan’s determination to work hard to achieve his goals. We are also happy that he has done us proud. But we must remind him that no road is smooth forever and we will face setbacks along the way. Perhaps, we should help him adjust his personal expectations too.

 

They say “Falling” is part and parcel of growing up. For boys, when they get rough and active, falling becomes common.

 

However, when my boys fell- especially on the same day but at different places - my feelings were unpleasant and disturbed.  This happened three days ago when I was also busy with rushing a work report till wee hours in the morning.  In the end, most importantly, they are ”fine” *big phew*.  Though stressful, we coped:)

 

An unaware Brendan was knocked by a schoolmate who was running in the school premises. Both fell.  While Brendan ended up as a cushion for the schoolmate and had small wounds on the legs, hands and fingers, the schoolmate was unhurt. To make matters worse, he did not help Brendan or utter a word of apology *sigh*. I was angry at this fact and was thinking of lodging a complaint but unfortunately, Brendan was in pain to catch a glimpse at the name of the schoolmate *sigh sigh*.  Fortunately, the wounds were not severe though there were multiple of them. 

 

 

Then..that night, Darren was coming to the study room when he tripped at the stairs and knocked hard on his face!  Fortunately, he did not trip down the stairs. I felt bad. If I had not chased him to do his homework, just because I wanted to check his homework and settle down with my office report, then perhaps he would not have rushed upstairs.  He had a swollen left cheek, which had subsided with application of ice, but there is still a little bruise now. 

{It is not easy struggling between having to meet work deliverables and at the same time, meeting the needs of the children. Mostly, we will realise that while trying to strike a balance, it is hard to draw a line or set a boundary in TIME MANAGEMENT when we wear multiple hats}

 

As adults, we also have the unpleasant feelings that we are “Falling” in certain points of our life. Somehow, developments have not been that smooth and pleasant since the onset of the new year. First, Brendan fell sick for a week and Darren ended up in A&E at the hospital. I went through the struggling process of having to balance between being at work and tending to children at home.  With endless matters, I felt overwhelmed. 

 

 

Well, it happens to most of us when we might just encounter low moments in life when nothing seems to be smooth.  It is just a passing phase in life.  Things will always get better although sometimes we might also let our emotions take control.  As we go through this stressful phase, I remember those worse periods before when everything seemed to fall apart. I am glad we overcome those tough parts of life as a FAMILY.  “Building my strength on previous setbacks” and “Learning to look forward to a better tomorrow” are what I try to remind myself when things do not turn out too well…..

 

 

“Life is like a jigsaw puzzle. There are always ways to piece things together again.”

- [Parent Times] -