Archive for the ‘Motivation & values’ Category

Letting GO sets the negative mind free. Letting Go lessens the burden on the heart. Letting Go helps in embracing the future with optimism and happiness.

LET GO of the haunting memories of the unpleasant past;

LET GO of the ongoing ill feelings;

LET GO of the present guilt of not doing our very best;

LET GO of the fear of the unknown future.

- Parent Times -

*What I have yet to perfect in my life is LETTING GO. I really must work harder on it.*

Me: “Why are you not taking your own bath? By the way, why are you being fed?”

Darren:”Because grandma says I will be cleaner if she helps me bathe. She also says I will eat faster if she feeds me.”

*******

Me:”Why are you not putting on your underwear?”

Darren:”Because grandma says since I am going to wear it when I go to school, I don’t need to wear it now.”

*******

My Mom:”I heard that you have been allowing the boys to go to the public toilet by themselves.”

Me: “Yes. They have each other’s company.”

My Mom:”It’s better that you do not let them go to the public toilet on their own, in case of kidnapping.”

Me:”How then do I enter the Gents with them since I am a lady?”

My Mom:”Just keep watch over them and don’t let them out of your sight.”

******

I agree. We, similarly, love our children or grandchildren. However, we show our love in different ways. There is bound to be different upbringing approaches when our kids are taken care by different people.

If I were to say that our kids are like KITES….sometimes just when I am releasing the kite a little higher into the sky, I feel a second pair of hands pulling back the string.  This forms a resistance to allow our kids to venture out and be independant. When we have a second set of control for our kids, it can be frustrating.

I wonder how many of you feel the same way?

As an only child, when I was given the permit to be independant, it was with much reluctance and resistance from my mom. It was a mom’s love to show that it is hard to let go. I recalled how my mom would volunteer to watch over my school break meals and even to accompany me to secondary school until she was comfortable that I had a good friend who was my travel companion. I guess a mom’s concern for her child never stops and even when I am a mother with two kids now, mom still maintains the habit to advise, ensuring that I keep our boys out of all potential danger.

So. Is it fear of loss, fear of being powerless or fear of risks : which causes reluctance for parents to let go of their kids?  Touching on this, here’s a meaningful poem for parents to ponder over.

To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization I can’t control another.
To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more and
To let go and to let God, is to find peace !

Author: Unknown

Some days, I wonder why they are such loggerheads with each other. They get on each other’s nerves and ARGUEeeee.

Sometimes, I wonder what they gain from winning in an argument and seeing the other one pissed off. 

These are moments when ear plug doesn’t help *sigh*.

Just when it is absolutely getting on my nerves, I found comfort in these words.

“My boys quarrel all the time. They never get along or have any friendly exchanges at all,” a friend commented.

Aha! That means our boys are not that bad after all. True. They are in argument 50% of the time, 30% sleeping but at least 20% of the time in HARMONY.

I am so hoping that the 50% would reduce to 40% and less and less. Maybe, my dream would come true soon. At least, if our preteen matures soon. Perhaps, that’s why they are called KIDS. Sibling rivalry is unavoidable.  If I had a sibling before, perhaps I would better understand.

One thing I know for sure. They do not HATE each other. These moments tell it all….

.

 I have always loved this song “He Ain’t Heavy. He Is My Brother”.

Now. This song is especially MEANINGFUL.

Special dedication to our boys, Papa Ed and Bro Eddie.

Extracted from lyrics
So on we go
His welfare is of my concern
No burden is he to bear
We’ll get there
For I know
He would not encumber me

If I’m laden at all
I’m laden with sadness
That everyone’s heart
Isn’t filled with the gladness
Of love for one another.

I hope this meaning would go a long way for our boys.