Archive for the ‘Motivation & values’ Category

Lately, I have been spending time reading.  Mainly books on self-improvement which include parenting.

I came across these which provide useful “food for thoughts”.

[It is extracted from the book "Children Are From Heaven" by the author John Gray who authored "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus".]

Children cannot learn to be forgiving unless there is someone to forgive.

 Children cannot develop patience or learn to delay gratification if everything comes their way when they want it.

Children cannot learn to accept their own imperfections if everyone around them is perfect.

Children cann0t learn to cooperate if everything always goes their way.

Children cannot learn to be creative if everything is done for them.

Children cannot learn compassion and respect unless they also feel pain and loss.

Children cannot learn courage and optimism unless they are faced with adversity.

Children cannot develop persistence and strength if everything is easy.

Children cannot learn to self-correct unless they experience difficulty, failure or mistakes.

Children cannot feel self-esteem or healthy pride unless they overcome obstacles to achieve something.

Children cannot develop self-sufficiency unless they experience exclusion or rejection.

Children cannot be self-directed unless they have opportunities to resist authority and/or not get what they want

  - From the book “Children Are From Heaven” -

As parents, we thought we could express our deep love for our children by providing them ready solutions to life problems.

Many times, we hate to see our children fail or being rejected and there are other times when we scream at our children’s slightest mistakes.

As parents, we hesitate in disappointing our children and do our best in providing the best for them.

We are ever so eager to protect them from negative encounters in life.

We dread to see our children fall.

Yet in doing so, we might not realise that we are preventing them from the exposure to life challenges, from developing the skill to overcome life hurdles independantly, and from the true reality that life is never a bed of roses.

It is true.

As doting, protective and even high self-esteem parents, we may be directly affecting our children in their mindset of facing challenges/failures and hindering their abilities to overcome life obstacles.

Some parental behaviours to ponder over…..

Don’t we rush into solving the problems for our kids when we hear that they are being ’bullied’ in school, without giving them enough opportunity to develop the social skills to resolve the issue themselves?

What is our tolerance level and how often do we not put blames on our children when they make mistakes in life?

When our children face difficulties in school assignments, don’t we sometimes help them complete it?

Aren’t we always trying to pave an easier path for our children to minimise the difficulties that they face in life?

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To a certain extent, we need to learn how to let go and close an eye to allow our children to harness the strength to battle life’s challenges.

There are so much more I have to learn to be a better parent in allowing our boys to grow out of their comfort zone, be independant and prepare them for the future.

As parents, it is so true that we play such an important role in influencing our children’s control of life.

I remember how I used to keep a diary when I was in my teens.

I picked up the habit when my school teacher made it a point that we cultivate the habit of writing diary.

It not only keeps a record of our daily lives and thoughts, it helps us in our written English expressions too.

That diary was my “best of friend” then because I revealed all my inner feelings to it.

Seriously, the diaries of my younger days are still with me for  keepsake.

Then that writing diary habit died off until recently……

There are days when we are full of frustrations and when we feel that others cannot relate to how we feel.  Sometimes, we just need a good listening ear and not exactly looking  for a solution. Then there are the good and bad times of life of which one day we look through them and realise how strong we have been all these years and those beautiful memories that never fail to put a smile on our face.

I thought it would be a good idea for our boys to start the diary writing habit too.  In a way, it helps them to express their thoughts and appreciate the daily happenings in their lives.

It doesn’t take that much time. 5  to 10 minutes a night and we have our “little confidante” that will follow us a long way.

Each day, I draw a litle facial expression on my daily diary.

There are the smiley face, groomy face, angry face and peaceful face.

Each indicating my daily mood.

When too many angry and groomy faces are accumulated over the days, it tells me that it is time that I learn to control my temperament, adjust my lifestyle and calm my soul…..

Ever thought of also drawing smiley, groomy, angry or peaceful faces to denote your daily mood? Try it:)

Colour our lives with PHOTOS and make it worth remembering everyday.

Colour our lives with INSPIRATIONS to give that added motivation in life.

Colour our lives BEAUTIFUL and learn to appreciate what we have.

Colour our lives with MEANINGS to make it worth living to our fullest.

So, we started our other blog “Colour Our Lives” in November last year. Check it out by clicking HERE.

 “Our perspectives of life depend on how we colour it.”

-  Parent Times -