TENSIONS….

I admit that there has been “unrest” having “two brothers” under my care.

Well, is it universal that when two young brothers come together, they will rough it out, fight it out and quarrel it out?

Having one brother complains about another. Seeing one fights the other. Hearing them debating each other…..have become a part and parcel of family life.

 Most of the time, unless I am at home to witness the actual happening or in the part of the house (where they are) to see who provokes the other first, it is indeed difficult to investigate and punish the real culprit.

More often than not, I will have brother 1 defending that he does it first because brother 2 has offended him. Then brother 2 will explain that he is just letting brother 1 has a taste of his medicine because brother 1 has also done likewise before.

When the quarrels and fights between brothers take place in public, it can become more annoying!

See. When this happens, where do we start intervening and even stop?

Many of us, I believe, will always tell our elder child to set good example or even to give in to the younger one. As we have higher expectations for the elder one to be more behaved and sensible, we might have the tendency to scold the elder one first.

Then, I started to learn a few lessons, being a parent:

- Never take side.

- When the ”heat” is on, getting the children to explain will not draw any conclusions.

- By reprimanding any one of the siblings, when the fact is not established - does not help.

- Teach the younger child to respect the elder one (understand that it might be difficult for the younger sibling to appreciate the basic rule of respect for his siblings especially when siblings grow up together and the age gap is small)

- Understand that at times, when our elder one grows, he/she is learning to exert his/her authority or even learning from the parents in discipling the younger one.

- Manage our emotions and biasness.

IT WILL MAKE A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE TO HAVE SIBLINGS…..

Personally, I wish I could have my own sibling. 

[When we don't have someone or something, the more we will tell ourselves that we will treasure one.]

Yes, I believe it will make a world of difference if I have one.

Haha…fortunately, I have the honour of living with a pair of siblings now.

My two sons show me the “JOY” and “SPICE” of brotherhood.

I show them how wonderful and blessed they are to have each other as brothers as compared to my life as an only child.

They fight today. They forgive and forget soon. They play together tomorrow.

Most importantly, they truly enjoy each other’s company *smile*.

I always remind myself not to be over disturbed by their quarrels and fights now.. for there is always a much beautiful side to brotherhood.

CHEERS…..

Despite the fighting, the squabbling, the grievances between my two sons at home……

They are very much bonded by love.

In fact, I was extremely touched when I stumbled upon this note by Darren.

I am sure they will remember :

- those many occasions when they will hold each other’s hand, chatting like the best of friend in the world

- those many days when they will jump up and down with joy while they battle each other in a friendly match of PS3

- those many years when they will cuddle against each other, blow each other’s birthday candles and cut their birthday cakes together

- those many trips when elder brother will stretch out his hands and hold his brother tight in a shopping mall, intuitively protecting him from the crowd and guiding him to the right direction

- those many days when younger brother will caringly enquire about his elder brother’s health from mommy

- those many car trips when they will chat non-stop and role play their favourite pokemon characters

- those many nights when younger brother will play hero and take a stick to chase away the insects and also escort his elder brother to the quiet and dark bedroom.

All these beautiful memories. All these wonderful experiences of having siblings. The joy of growing up together. It tends to be forgotten and taken for granted when we don’t learn to cherish and convey.

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