When children grow, they start to exhibit changed behaviours.  Yes, as they are exposed to their own environment, friends, and naturally as they progress into teens. Some start earlier and some later.

Pride and shame

Some might feel shameful being hugged or cheered by parents in public or in school. They feel embarrassed to be labelled as “mommy’s or daddy’s boy or girl”. Others’ pride are hurt if the parents are not careful in scolding or criticising them openly. So they start developing their pride.

A mind of their own

Some resent their parents for continuing to make decisions for them or dictating what to do. In short, they start developing a mind of their own. This is when they start resisting what the parents have arranged or planned for them. For some, they accept the instructions but with grievance.

Privacy

Many parents are puzzled as to “If I can touch your personal belongings and know whom you mingle with all this while, why the sudden resistance now to share?” The harsh truth is as the children grow, they want to have their own privacy and they expect the parents to know the right timing and respect it.

Disrespect and rebellious

Some start arguing with their parents while others might intentionally create challenging actions or behaviours.  Others begin to show nasty attitudes.

Communications

As the children get more independant and expand their social circles or activities, somehow, they begin drifting away from their parents. Communications reduce and opportunities for parents to show care and love get less.

This is certainly a sad part of developments especially when parents are neither ready for the changed behaviours nor ready to manage themselves or their children appropriately.

I treasure these current moments when I will be the FIRST they call when they are in need.

AS PARENTS, it is a daunting part of parenthood process to ADJUST, ACCEPT and LET GO GRADUALLY.  AS CHILDREN, it is not easy understanding why parents do not understand their needs, do not respect that they have grown and why all efforts of parents’ care and love are deemed as intrusion of privacy and nagging.

Just when parents have spent many years of patience and love bringing up and nurturing their children, children must also show the same patience to understand that PARENTS NEED TIME for ADJUSTMENTS and TIME TO LEARN.

Whatever the stage of children developments, COMMUNICATIONS play an important role in parent-child relationship.  Sometimes, communications fail because one party shuts up any chance for communications. Many times, it fails because of WRONG timing/ perception/ interpretation/choice of words. Mastering the correct set of communication skills with growing children are definitely no easy process for parents.

Let's treasure these moments when our chidren are still CLOSE by our side

Just like any other parents, I do face a changed behaviour in my eldest son as he enters his 10th year. Though not that severe at this moment, I recognise the difficulty when COMMUNICATION breaks down or when OUR FRUSTRATION leads to us using the wrong approach. Yes, at times, we do feel helpless handling our son, who is still very dependant on us but on the other hand, starting to have a growing pride and rebellious.

I dread facing the outcome of our children’s growing up but accept that this is all part and parcel of parenthood - having to face and manage changed and what we deem as unacceptable behaviours in our children and most importantly adjusting my mindset and parenting approach to deal with it. 

I don't want this close bonding to slip away

For children who do not understand the well-intention of their parents, as they become parents one day, I am sure they will.

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