It is time of the year again. When we start to hear “loud and challenging” conversations at home.

It is the final year examinations or semestral assessment 2 examinations for our boys.

[Although I have always ensured that our boys do not make it as a last minute preparation (i.e. they revise regularly to understand their work and start early) and that they still have space and time to relax, this is still the time when we parents put in extra coaching especially for the recent topics and areas that they remain unclear.]

WHEN IT COMES TO TEACHING OUR OWN KIDS

When it comes to teaching our own kids, do we PARENTS really have “shorter fuse”, less patience and higher expectations?

And do our kids also tend to be less serious and more playful? 

This is what happened when we have the typical self-tuitioning sessions at home.

Disruptive

Papa Ed (Teacher) : I am showing you how to answer this question. Yet, you are drawing POKEMON.

[Then Papa Ed continued to explain the solution. Suddenly, our dear son interrupted.]

Brendan (Student): The truth is ………

Papa Ed: I am talking and you interrupt!

[Then Papa Ed went on persistently with his explanation when Brendan suddenly exclaimed.]

Brendan: Skip! I think I know the answer.

[Then, in less than one minute...]

Brendan: Sorry. I think I don’t know the answer. HEEeeeeee…

Papa Ed: !!!

[You can imagine, how annoyed parents will be when our kids interrupt several times and do not allow the completion of explanations.]

Argumentative

Papa Ed: 60% is the …..

[Then he was interrupted for the ??? th number of times]

Brendan : Huh? Not 20%?

[Papa Ed continued.]

Brendan: Last time, you said cannot use this and now you say can.

Papa Ed: You didn’t pay any attention!

[Papa Ed continued.]

Papa Ed: Try to learn other methods.

Brendan : I love my method.

Papa Ed: !!!

Distracted

Papa Ed: Can you let me talk?

[Our dear son continued to create sound effects.]

Papa Ed: Listen to me!

[Our dear son chose to continue to get on his father's nerve by swinging his chair and making sound effects. By the way, this refers to both our boys!]

Papa Ed: Look at me!

[Next, a series of sound effects were produced.]

It is no wonder how Papa Ed, who usually is very strict with our boys when he teaches, will get impatient and raise his voice. I tend to raise my voice when I have to suffer this too.

——————

As we now have 2 primary schoolers instead of 1, that would mean double the efforts for us parents and also bigger headache.

WHY HEADACHE?

Darren is still considered as quite new to the examinations system and he has to be reminded over the importance and meaning of examinations.

Confused and “Fresh”?

During this period, he will come home every now and then telling us that he has examinations when he is actually having revisions in school. Apparently, he is still confused. 

Our boy tends not to read instructions eg. when asked to tick, he will write . Worst, when he spells out “I don’t know” in the answer sheet when he does not know the answer! *sigh*

Although I am thankful that he can now have better attention span to go through those revisions that I have instructed him, somehow he will just stop wherever I have instructed and does not really know what he is preparing for. When we ask him to explain what he does not understand, he is not able to convey effectively.

So, all I could do is to give him practice papers and determine where he is weak in and then try our best to explain to him the approaches and answers.

Forgetful

Then our nightmares come when we realise that he tends to forget what we have taught after a while and if we overlook, we will think that he has already understood what we have taught!

Distracted

Most of the times, while we are correcting and explaining his mistakes in those revision papers, he will be shifting his body, playing with his chair, somehow doing some little actions. This is when we will get impatient especially when we are not able to determine whether he truly understands.

Basics

I realised how difficult it is to explain the fundamentals. Eg. For Math, we have to draw, tell stories in order to convey the basic meaning of “more than”, “after and before” and most challenging is problem sums because he still cannot think deep. For English, he will suddenly surprise me by forgetting the basic tenses.

Talking about the basic rules and fundamentals….it is never as easy in explaining as we have imagined.

Brendan has never given me much major concerns when it comes to studies.

Language Abilities

However, his weakness remains in his spoken/written English and Chinese. To improve, he will have to read alot, converse more in proper language, and write more. He reads regularly but somehow I recognised that it is important for him to also appreciate those new vocabularies and useful phrases in what he reads - this is what is still missing.

I understand how English language plays an important role when it comes to solving Math problem sums and Science.

Dependant

Then, he is still not able to “prepare” independantly i.e. what to start, when to start, how to start.  I will need to prepare the schedule for both my boys and I would wish that he can be independant in this because we might miss out certain  topics or areas of revisions and he will be the best person in determining his topics of weakness and not me.

Challenge

Then, as our boy grows, he tends to have a more questioning and challenging mind and he will not take our explanations at surface value or our answers as direct answers.

——————–

How I wish our boys know that we were not as privileged as they are now, when we were young. We were independant and we did not rely on our parents for help in revising. We did not blame others when we did not perform well. Neither did we look at others for answers.

Nowadays, when I look around in Singapore, I see parents taking broad leave to “revise” intensively with their young children.  For me, NO, I do not take broad leave to revise with my children but I might have to do so when Brendan goes through his PSLE next year.

Sometimes, I wish I could let my growing children learn in the hard way and be independant.  Then as parents, we have concerns that they are not well-prepared especially in Singapore’s educational system where we cannot afford to let them fail academically.

As a parent or once a student,  what is your experience?

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