For the last few weeks, I have been diligently working out an intensive study schedule for Brendan and making sure that he really prepares for his SA1 exams after school. I have been preparing assessment books for his practice since he was in pre-school and it had been most useful in helping to expose him to different types of questions.  Similarly for this time, I made sure that he went through his school text books and workbooks and also reading materials, assessment books, top school exam papers and also free online test papers. Finally this busy period is over at least for the moment.

Assessment Books

I am really thankful because it has not been too difficult when it comes to making sure that Brendan sticks to the study schedule or have problem or worry that he will take a long time to grasp what he has been learning.  In fact, so far he has been cooperative although there is time when he tends to declare his little time off and might be still too young to understand why we parents seem more anxious than him when it comes to his exams.

I guess my expectations for him are elevated as I see that he is able to perform even better.  I guess, it is a mother’s wish to see her child excel and I will never feel good if I fail to lay the ground for him or stretch his potential.  Thusfar, he has not disappointed me in the expectations that I have placed on him.  

A few weeks ago, during his Teacher-Meet-Parent session, I am happy to note that he has been showing good conducts in school and also showing good academic performance.  One of his teachers was asking me how I had helped Brendan in his good progress. How do I explain it in a sentence or two?  It has involves a lot of participation and commitment by parents and child and good progress cannot be acquired overnight.  Different child also has different abilities to learn and willingness to learn and so again it varies among children. Though I always remind myself never to compare, I never have such patience with my youngest boy, Darren, who has been too playful and lack of concentration to learn.

I am not a trained teacher or expert but these have been my efforts, trials and errors in ensuring a good development progress for Brendan:

1)    Making a headstart when the child is young

I am not sure whether others brand me as “kiasu” (a Singaporean term for “scared to lose to others”), I have started preparing Brendan for primary school syllabus when he was in Kindergarten 2. This has helped because it helped him to adapt to the new syllabus quickly and he did not have to struggle between a whole new primary schooling experience and alien school topics.

2)    Encouraging discipline in learning

I have prepared a daily time guide for Brendan so that he can be more focused on what he could do while mummy is at work. Well, the time guide is of course not “All Study and No Play”.  It is definitely an exciting timetable with freedom for him to take a nap or play his Nintendo DS and others …with discipline that he must finish his school homework and other assignment planned for him. This has helped him plan out his time more effectively.

3)    Regular practice

It is certainly helpful that I have made sure that Brendan regularly practises on his assessment books and works harder on areas of weaknesses. If this has been a last minute preparation, I would definitely freaked out, knowing my inclination to always prepare and plan beforehand.

4)    Commitment by parents

It takes a lot of commitment for parents to constantly monitor the child’s progress and maintain constant communication with the teachers. Checking through Brendan’s daily school homeworks, personally tutoring him, maintaining constant communications with his teachers and Brendan, have enabled me to understand his subjects of weakness and worked together with him to address it.  However, I must admit that the teaching techniques adopted by school nowadays and solving methods for subject like Math are no longer similar to those that we have learnt during our school time. As Brendan progresses to higher level, I am finding it harder and inappropriate for me, even with my university knowledge, to teach him as my method may differ from that of his school curriculum. Well, if the time comes when he has difficulty following the subject, I will consider sending him for external tuition, but am prepared to still monitor him closely.

I tend to feel that children nowadays do not seem so independent in their learning as compared to my time. I don’t know whether we should blame it on the parents, society or perhaps the kids??

5)    Learning outside school text books

I believe in enabling Brendan to pick up new knowledge        from enrichment books/story books, internet (with parental guidance), play, practical hands on and creative learning. Creativity enables a child to self explore and learn from different perspectives. There is no right or wrong in creative learning.  Exposing him to different assessment books have also enabled him to look at and handle questions posted in a different angle. In a way, it helps in showing him that there are different approaches to problem solving in life.

6)    Cultivating the right learning attitude

I guess this might be the toughest task for parents. I personally encounter two sons with a different learning attitude. Fortunately, this has never dampen my spirits and I understand that after all my youngest son is still too young and he is just not ready or settled to make a headstart like Brendan before. For Brendan, although he might be considered young as a 9 year old boy, I have never stopped inspiring him with real life stories. First, it was to motivate him by sharing with him my personal stories of how his parents made it to pass with flying colours in our primary schools when we had minimal coaching. I also share with him the fun of learning and how making constant good progress can help him in the future. Children will grow up and have a mind of their own and I guess my method will have to constantly progress too if I have to also stay motivated before motivating others. Reading parenting books have definitely helped me to grow in the area.

7)    Injecting fun in life

One will be guessing that I must be a grilling Brendan to burn midnight oil and study extremely hard when it comes to weekends just before exams.  Is it a surprise that such a “kiasu” mother  actually brought her children out to have fun (at the cinema, zoo, flying kites) just on the weekends before exams? Yes, an exciting life goes on as usual. I believe in giving a breathing space to the child. As long as preparation starts early, why stress the young child to the limit with study and no play?  By the way, I have never forgotten that I have a young son to spend time with too when big brother is preparing for exams. It is also important to ensure that the boys have a balanced life and so Brendan does have a colourful life ranging from being musical on his piano, to swimming and playing badminton, to simply gaming.

Perhaps, Brendan is lucky to be the only child then (before little brother was borned) and could have a 100% devoted mother to spend all the time experimenting a suitable learning environment and approach for him. As much as I try to accord similar privilege to little Darren, I cannot help but find it hard to split my attention on two. This, however, will not deter me. Learning is presented as an equal opportunity for everyone.  As a “kiasu” mother, I guess it is not long before we are on our way to our next challenge again (yah…gearing Brendan for his Grade 3 piano exam in July and resuming his swimming course etc.) and making sure that Darren perfects his reading target.  Parenting life stays busy…I wonder whether it is pressure pursuing me or I seeking pressure with my high expectations?? Whatever it is, it will always be Papa Ed’s and my common wish to give our kids a well-rounded life.

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