As parents, are you shy to talk about sexuality issues to your children?

Talking about sexuality issues to children is often awkward for parents.  In fact, adults often find it embarrassing and do not know how to convey the explanations to the younger ones.

I know. I understand. For me, I have not been pro-active in talking about sexual topics to our boys unless when I am asked.

Recently, the frequencies of me being cornered into answering related questions have increased and I know I cannot avoid educating our boys especially when our elder one is going on to 12 years old soon.

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Since last year, Brendan has heard much about sexuality issues in school through his Science and Health Education lessons.  So, they covered the knowledge on sperms, eggs, how babies are produced and the functions of the reproductive organs. 

Being inquisitive, he decides to learn more and often comes home seeking further explanations from his parents.   At times, his questions go really detailed  into child delivery process, trying to figure how the reproductive organs work, and other times he wants to know more about how a male would feel.

[You can imagine how I nearly fell off the  chair, SURPRISED, when my innocent wide-eyed boy suddenly looked at me mischievously squeezing an answer out of me].

To make matter worse, Darren often chooses to join in the surprised conversations and I usually have to handle the questions tactfully since both boys are of different age groups after all.

Trust me. Children nowadays are not satisfied with the ancient reply eg. they are delivered like the “passing of motion” or mysteriously conceived or ” I will tell you later” kind of answers. At least not for long.

Like most parents, I have been basically indirect. I have been sharing with Brendan about the expected body  developments in boys and girls to prepare him for puberty but not really that ready to go any further into other sexuality issues.

So, when our boy started to say out terms like “vagina” etc and talk about related topics openly, I know that today’s children are less conservative than before and exposed earlier to sex education in school. 

Then, I learn something useful…that we should walk out of those days when our parents would also avoid these related topics.

As parents, instead of avoiding, we can start learning to talk to our children more openly but with objective of preparing them for adulthood and also sharing with them the right set of moral values and responsibilities.

It is better than to let them learn from friends or even on internet!

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In fact, I am surprised when I learn that parents could consider to start talking about sexuality issues to their children as young as 4 years old.   The details shared with children get more in depth as the children grow.

 As a parent, you are the best person to provide sexuality education to your child. By being open and honest, you are telling your child that sex is a natural thing and not something to be ashamed of. Here are a few tips to keep in mind:
- Discuss with your spouse what you want to teach your child about sex.
- Be prepared with answers to questions relating to sexuality. If you don’t have an answer on the spot, tell your child you’ll get back to her later and make sure you do.
- Don’t be afraid to tell your child if you’re embarrassed; honesty is the best policy.
- Give simple and straightforward answers; keep the discussion open.
- Find opportunities to discuss sexuality by using every day events and situations.

Source: Singapore Health Promotion Board

So, parents do play an important role in the sex education of our children. Frankly, I was hesitant to write this post at first but I thought it is useful to share the role of parents in sex education.  Looks like I have to start coming out of my shell and share more openly with our boys when appropriate.  If you are in doubt, here’s a great resource for parents. Start reading by clicking HERE.

As parents, how direct have you been in discussing sexuality  issues with your children? How young was your child when he/she initiated the topic with you?

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