When my ex-male colleague heard that I am taking a break to become a SAHM….

He shared this with me: “My wife nags so much now. She has been at home taking care of the family for 10 years and her nagging is becoming worse. Are you sure you want to also stay at home and concentrate on your kids because you will be like my wife and start nagging.”

Those statements strike me. Are SAHMs stereotyped to nag by our husbands? Why are SAHMs (or most wives) generally judged to nag or even going-to-be SAHMs are not spared? I wonder how many of our husbands don’t share with their friends or colleagues that their wives are naggers.  How do men define nagging? 

I sort of  have one personal conclusion (that if men were to listen seriously, do women still need to repeat what they have said constantly and hence is this deemed as nagging?) From personal experience, I hate to repeat myself too unless what I convey again falls on  deaf ears. Maybe, it is the “Venus vs Mars” theory again *haiz*.

So, I jumped to defend for the wife (not because I am a woman) but out of fairness and hope it helps him to understand a wife’s difficulty and frustrations better.

I said : “Your wife has to juggle between fetching your children, taking care of them, doing household chores, cooking and coaching your children in their studies. It is not easy at all especially when you have 3 kids and she has to face the house everyday and hardly have time for herself. Guess all she needs is some understandings, comfort and a listening ear. Also, if she doesn’t share the family complaints with you, who else are you comfortable for her to share with?”

[Haha! I wish someone else would also speak up these words of justice for me if my hubby had or would ever share with anyone that his wife nags.]

At that point, I could imagine myself going through the same phase. However, I was happy with the reply that my ex-colleague gave next…..

He said : “Despite all these, I am happy to go home and see my daughter plunge towards me and sticks to me like a glue.  Though my wife nags at my sons, I know my elder son always refuses to give in to his brother and I always step in to be on the side of my wife when it comes to disciplining.  Still, I love my wife’s cooking. It is very nice. I like the taste.”

That contented tone of his summarised it all.  Despite finding that constant complaints an ear-sore, he still likes going home and enjoys the most delicious cooking by his wife.

Maybe that’s  what they say “Mother cooks with love from her heart” and ”The Way to A Man’s Heart is Through His Stomach”.

[Haha! So, I am learning to win over my family's heart through their stomachs and the love injected into cooking. So that one day if my nagging becomes formidable, it can be masked by the food *lol*.]

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On a side note……

True. Mothers might not be the best cooks in the world. We might not be able to cook to the best standards of meals. But that unique taste of food prepared by each mother/father and that love displayed by preparing dishes that the family members like. Nothing can beat that. Though I cook regularly now, I still find an excuse for my dad to cook for us once or twice a week because somehow that taste is always unique and nothing I prepare can compare to his…somehow.

Seriously, I am sharpening my culinary skill now. 

For the first time, I am stocking up my kitchen …haha! with much more in all shelves:)

To my friends who are reading this post, yes, I know some of you still cannot understand why I give up sitting in the comfort of an air-conditioned office and instead to soak myself in flour and oil  and ‘trap’ myself in a warm kitchen now.

As for my ex-staff who cautioned me with “You think it is so easy to be a “Auntie or housewife” huh”?

I understand all your concerns…

But for now, I am enjoying every bit of gaining a new skill and the motherhood process, and nothing puts a greater smile in my heart than knowing that my family enjoys my homecooked food:)

If I have not taken a break from career, I guess I will never be able to go through a whole experience of learning to cook well (at least with decent tastes) and I will deprive my kids of being able to hold this special taste in their hearts in future.

To all Mothers who gave up a career for their families (especially for those who sacrificed a great prospective career), JIAYOU and KUDOS!

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