I recall an episode in “Desperate Housewives” when Lynette posed as a teenage girl online to cyber-stalk her teenage son and chatted with him using the posed identity. Ridiculous as it might be but this is the way a mother tries to find out more about her growing son who no longer wants to share with her his inner thoughts anymore.

When our kids are young, sometimes we are found guilty of saying some of these words to our kids who need a listening ear or our support:

“Mummy or daddy are busy, we will talk to you when we are free.”

“Don’t talk nonsense!”

“Can’t you wait?”

“What’s the matter with you? This is such a trivial matter!”

“Can’t you take care of yourself?”

“Can you don’t bother me?”

“Can you go talk to your father or mother or sister or brother instead?”

“Why do you keep repeating?”

Actually, sometimes our kids just need a listening ear, some words of assurance and support. As they get older and independent, factors like age gap, social circles, interests and even parents’ own attitude might drift our kids further from us. Then one day, we might realise that the day has come when we lose control of our kids or have to “wish” that they will share their inner thoughts with us. Then parents might yearn to relive the older days and hold back the time to prevent their children from walking out of their lives.

I am far from being a perfect parent because there are still so much areas for me to be better and so much more for me to learn from other parents and my kids. The one thing I very much appreciate is while the kids are still pouring all their woes to me and close by my side because as much as we are reluctant, they will grow one day and behaviours will change. Even as I write, I have also taken note of my eldest son’s behavioural change as he developed in the last ten years.

 Here is a related poem for sharing. Moments to ponder………….

A Touch Of Love

by Amy Reynolds

“I was six months old and full of fun,
with a blink of your eye, I was suddenly one.
There were so many things we were going to do,
but when you turned your head, I turned two.

At two I was very dependent on you,
but independence took over when I turned three.

My third birthday was another year
you tried to ignore,
but when the candles were lit,
there weren’t three but four.

Four was the year that I really strived,
but with a turn of your back, I became five.

At five I was ready for rules
and told this is the year I go to school.
The big day came, and I was anxious
but scared to go.
You walked me to my room going oh, so slow.
With a gentle smile, you said,
“I’ll see you in PE”.

As the years came and went,
along with friends fads, and boyfriends,
you were in the background watching over me.

Soon we stepped into my teenage years,
which started the days of mouthing off
and learning to drive,
and suddenly you wished
I was five all over again.
Time goes so fast it is so hard to believe,
that just yesterday I was home with you.

And tomorrow when I come home
and walk through the door,
you will remember the day
I was wearing my cap and gown
and think how did I grow up so fast.

With a nod of your head,
you watched me walk down the aisle
and across the stage.

Then, with a wave of your hand,
three months later you sent me off to college
to find my way.

Now, today I am not six months old
and full of fun anymore,
I’m almost twenty-one.
With graduation approaching,
I have the world, the city, and my job
waiting on me.

It’s so hard to believe I’ve come this far.
But without you and dad, I wouldn’t be here
and where I am now.
So hold these moments as hard as you can,
because the next time you look,
it won’t be just me,
you’ll also be seeing a man.”

Here is “Yesterday Once More” by Carpenters, a song that represented my feelings while I wrote this post.

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