Darren stepped into a new school compound yesterday, accompanied by Mommy and Papa Ed. It was his 1st day in Primary School, the day he officially stopped as a Pre-Schooler.

There are changes. So, there are anxieties.  It turns out that mommy’s hidden concerns are more than that of our young boy.

Mommy’s concerns

In my mind, the following questions have been lingering for a while:

 1) will he wet his shorts in school? {especially when he has shown instances of wetting himself when he is nervous or too occupied)

2) will he dirty his shirts? {especially when he tends to create a mess when eating}

3) does he know how to get down at the correct bus stop when coming home by school bus?

4) will he be careful when climbing that long flights of steps in school?

5) will he get a seat on the bus?

6) will he dare to tell teacher that he needs to go to the washroom?

And….The “will?” and “does?” list goes on….

To a mother, the child will always be a young kid “in her heart”.  So, I guess we will not feel at ease - till we see our our children settling down {Note: the definition of settling down VARIES among mothers.}

The outcome

Then, it turns out that the truth is sometimes parents do feel more concerned and uneasy than the children.  Why do I say so?

The evidence is - at least for the 1st day of Darren’s primary school life, most of my concerns were unfounded *Phew*.  And, with the right motivation and even peer pressure, our usually “protected” children can learn to adjust themselves and change their usual habits.  In fact, I was surprised that Darren, with the help of his buddy, bought curry chicken rice and ate it without any resistance in school!

{Usually at home he would never have wanted to taste spicy food at all. Yet, he did it in school and even told me that he wanted to try it again:)} So, this is the goodness of “power of peer pressure”, huh?

Parents’ presence

Parents’ physical presence in school, on our children’s first few days in a new primary school environment, is definitely significant.  Yes, I mean “parents and not “domestic helpers” which is quite a common sight nowadays.

To the children,

It is a positive encouragement that the parents are there to give them the moral support.  The purpose is not for parents to stick to the children, disrupt the lessons or interfere with the kids’ pace of adapting.  But, it is to help to let the children feel that their love ones are there to see them through a new journey. Chilldren can relate to us better of their experiences in the new school environment, knowing that we have been there.

I am happy that I always try to be there for my children’s activities and events in school. 

By being involved, I am able to relate to their excitement and elated stories and in turn, the “presence” is reciprocated by the joy on their faces and the closer bond that is formed.

For this, I have made the right choice to “walk with my children” in their school days - which ultimately form a large portion of their experiences and moments in their younger days. 

- [Denesa]-

To the parents,

So, I do not mean that our presence there on the 1st few days of school will help our kids to settle down faster.  In fact, our children are learning to adapt under the reliable/professional hands of the teachers. Even if different children adapt at different pace, they will adjust themselves independantly and eventually.  By being there, it is to KNOW the new environment that our children are moving on to.  

I am happy that I am part of my kids’ lives.

For I KNOW,

The environment where they have been spending half of their time;

The way their school curriculum has been structured;

The types of food which they eat while we are not by their sides;

Their Teachers - the other people whom they respect and create a significant impact in their lives;

Their Friends - wonderful companions who make their lives complete.

- [Denesa]-

Mommy’s emotions

No matter how we choose to believe in our minds, our eyes will convince us that our children have grown up.  I admit - I miss Darren’s cute little behaviours that bring much fun to our lives.  Somehow, I do not want him to grow up so fast. Yet, the other side of me, I do want him to develop his skills and confidence as the moments have come to manage his days more independantly.

 For unknown reasons, my eyes were tearing as I joined Darren and school in singing the school song. The fact is whether I like it or not - my boy has grown up. It is just that  feeling of unwillingness, that feeling of pride and that sigh of relief.  Today, Papa Ed and I will join him on his 2nd day in school. And..that emotions remain rich.

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