It’s Not All About Winning
My little one, Darren, shared with me a little lesson one day.
Darren: “Mommy, I lose the game.”
Mommy: “So Gor Gor (elder brother) and Jie Jie (our ex-domestic helper) are still playing?”
Darren:”Yes, but nevermind that I lose. Because I know I will win on another day if I try and try again. Right, mommy?”
Though a short conversation, I was happy to know that my little one is not easily dishearterned by defeat and feels that there is always another chance that he will win again *Big Grin*.
I like this attitude.
“It’s not that you won or lost…but how you played the game.”
- Grantland Rice -
On another day, Brendan called me and I could hear the disappointment in his tone for achieving a 24 out of 30 marks for his Science paper. My elder boy has been quite a high achiever and is always determined to do his best. On the contrary, I thought that score was good considering the higher standard.
I am happy to be blessed with a son who is sensible enough to do his best. So far, his hardwork has been fruitful.
However, from another perspective, I am also concerned. His strong eagerness to only succeed and excel might cause the inability for him to face any failure in future. So, I must be mindful of guiding him to set reasonable expectations and understanding that overcoming setbacks is part of the process to success.
So, my two boys - two different perspectives.
I admire Darren’s positive atttitude to accept setbacks. But I think it is time that he understands that he needs to put in a little effort too in his work.
I appreciate Brendan’s determination to work hard to achieve his goals. We are also happy that he has done us proud. But we must remind him that no road is smooth forever and we will face setbacks along the way. Perhaps, we should help him adjust his personal expectations too.
I like your sensible parenting.
Being a teacher for more than 2 decades, I have seen most Singaporean parents pushing their kids too much for good grades. It is important but not to the point of losing our lessons on values.
Hi ECL, the pressure cooker is too heated for our Singaporean kids and parents:(
Kids, these days, have to go through parental pressure, school pressure, peer pressure, society pressure and so on. Really poor things. In striving for only success in life, they might have missed out the correct attitude towards success and also the many other values that they need to make them complete in life. I grow up in a family where my parents do not give me that pressure to excel and I make it anyway. So, it is really our attitude and learning journey that plays an important role in our life.