I recalled a friend telling me before that it is a different parenting experience to have 2 kids instead of 1. This is definitely the most genuine advice that I have received. “Kudos to mummy who has kids!”.

Truth about my eldest child
1) Expected to share things with or give in to younger sibling
2) EXpected to set good examples
3) Tends to have brand new stuff
4) Tends to feel neglected and expected to be more independant (being eldest, to take care of himself/herself)
5) Tends to be bossy
6) Tends to feel insecure

Truth about my youngest child
1) Loves to complain about eldest brother
2) Tends to put blames on eldest brother
3) Possesses eldest brother’s pass-on items but never stop to, in his own rights, request for new stuff or similar items that eldest brother is possessing
4) Tends to imitate eldest brother’s actions and behaviour
5) Loves to make comparisons with eldest brother and to keep in par

I love both my boys. However, showing impartiality in the eyes of the children is a skill that I am still trying to master. My children compare and fight for everything under the sun. It certainly has not been easy according equal time to each boy. I recall all these moments:

** Brendan: “Mummy why do you buy Darren so many things as Christmas gifts? I only have 1 PS3!”
Oops! Mummy and papa have thought that by buying Brendan a PS3, he will value the gift and also share it with little bro, but we have neglected that children do not look at the price value but compare the quantities.

** Darren: “Why Gor Gor always bathe first and I must wait?”
Oops! Mummy now must remember to let the kids take fair turns.

** Brendan: “Why Darren always get to sit besides you in restaurants and I cannot?”
Oops! Mummy has to repeatedly explain to Brendan that Darren is young and needs help from mummy.

** Darren: “You say goodnight to Gor Gor 3 times but only say it to me 2 times.”
Oops! By the time, mummy uttered 1 more time of “Goodnight” to Darren, Brendan also rattled out 1 last time of “Goodnight” and Darren ended up sobbing.

The feeling of competition and needs for fairness surfaces in the daily lives of my young ones. It is only possible through daily exposure with them for a mummy to learn how to handle each situation tactfully and not to seem unfair in either’s eyes. I am not sure whether it is fortunate or unfortunate that I never have a sibling to fight with. Perhaps, fighting and vying for fairness is part and parcel of kids’ growing up.