Recenty, I wrote about how my little boy enjoys writing.

Now, besides using his hands to write, he also spends his time TALKING NON-STOP.  In short, he has become TALKATIVE. 

Well, I am not sure whether it is good or bad because he talks non-stop in the car, at home, during meals and even during movies.  What makes me not too happy is he often talks DURING LESSONS IN CLASS too and leading to him to be distracted!

I can understand the Teachers’ frustrations especially when nobody likes interruptions/disturbances when they are talking. So, it is not surprising that his Chinese and English Teachers gave common comments on his progress report that our little Darren talks during lessons, is easily distracted and is not paying attention *sigh*.

[This seems to ring a bell especially when I have written an earlier post this year about how his Teacher commented that he seems to care about everyone else's business except his own.]

Knowing my little boy:

- Harsh tone and scolding might not necessarily work well on him because it will result in him keeping totally quiet instead when we lecture him. Then it will become a mono-conversation and I will not even be certain whether he understands what is wrong.

- He will usually refrain from a certain wrong act only when he can understand the consequences of his mistake.

Hence, instead of scolding him, I decided to have a little chat with him on this negative feedback by Teachers. I thought it might be more effective if I let him admit that it is a mistake for “not paying attention during lessons” and let him articulate the consequences of not listening in class. Also, I do not want to project the wrong idea that he should not be making friends.

So, here goes our little conversation.

[Surprisingly, with a no-pressure atmosphere, our little boy is more willing to respond to the conversation - very unlike his usual self of keeping totally quiet for hours when he is compelled to reply for situations that he knows we will not be happy about.]

Mommy: “I know you are not paying attention in class and have been talking when teachers are teaching. Am I right?”

Darren nodded his head. <I am glad he admitted.>

Mommy:”So, you are very happy to make new friends and have alot to share with them. Are you taking to our little girls or boys? Is it about games or books?”

Darren:”Got boys and girls. We talk everything.”

Mommy:”I know you are excited to have friends. I am not asking you to stop having friends. But you can talk to friends during recess, before you go to class, and when Teachers allow you to talk in class.” 

I remember you will cry when nobody pays attention to you when you talk. So, will Teachers be happy if you don’t listen when they talk?”

Darren immediately shook his head. <He is able to relate to the feelings of being ignored when he is talking and so was fast in noting that it is an unpleasant feeling.>

Mommy: “So, can you tell mommy why you go to school? Is it to spend time talking to friends or to study?”

Darren:‘To learn.”

Mommy:”Then when should you talk to your friends?”

Darren:”When Teachers are not talking. Recess and before class.”

Mommy:”Good! So you tell me why you are wrong to talk or don’t pay attention in class”

Darren:’Because I never listen to Teachers when they teach me and so cannot learn.”

Mommy:”Yes. It is rude not to pay attention in class. It is also why you are not sure of instructions given by Teachers and so come home not knowing what homework you have. So, can you stop talking when others are talking?”

Darren:”Ok Mommy.”

Though it is a complaint, I am satisfied with the result of the little conversation.  I receive a response which is more effective than through an interrogation or order.  At least, for now, I hope it works and I will monitor his progress when I meet his Teachers in two-weeks’ time.

However, as for the “being talkative” at home - I guess it is going to continue for a while. Besides for the NOISE, I cannot find a good reason to refrain my little one from engaging in healthy endless questions and new discoveries that he cannot wait to share with us *SMILE*.

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