Coincidentally, the men in my life are often ”QUIET when it comes to expressing their feelings”.

Starting from my dad…..

He is a man of little words.  Hence, it is certain that I have inherited that part of the “chatty” personality from my mom (certainly not my dad). 

So, my dad may not be the one who will offer me much words of advice or consolations when I need them. However, though he might not express it through his words, I know my dad expresses his extreme care for me and family through other ways like filling our stomachs with his superb dishes almost everyday, never with a word of complaint despite his busy days at work.

Then, hubby (Papa Ed)…..

We engage ourselves in long conversations when we share topics of interests. However, despite knowing him for more than two decades, he is exceptionally quiet when it comes to pouring out his feelings or sharing words of encouragements or heavy topics.

So, it takes many years of mutual understandings to accept that when one is quiet, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care but just that not all are good or comfortable in expressing their thoughts or feelings verbally.

Next, the younger generation……..

Brendan…..

He can be so noisy when it comes to arguing, uttering nonsence with Darren and complaining.  I am glad he engages in conversations with us, telling us the happenings in school, with friends and his interests.  In fact, he can be so “lor sor” (repetitive or long-winded) when it comes to giving instructions or getting reassurance.  However, when the conversations become “confrontational”, he becomes exceptionally quiet. When we talk about his opinions and feelings, we do not expect the conversations to head anyway either.

Darren…..

Haha, he has become the most chatty and outgoing at home. Needless to say, as I have shared before, our lives are never quiet with him around *smile*. He argues, he questions, he rambles and he laughs aloud.  However, again, when we touch on expressing his feelings and when he is interrogated, he becomes the “quietest male” in my family. No amount of persuasions and incentives can make him open his mouth a little when we come to these situations.

……….

While I believe that “talking it out” and “not bearing any ill feelings” after that, will help to reduce unnecessary misunderstandings and develop a higher level of understandings among each other - this theory might not work for the guys in my home.

Understanding each other’s personality and adopting the right approach to deal with sticky situations when the conversations get quiet is indeed such an important life skill.

If you are a male reader, are you comfortable in expressing your feelings and words of advices?  For our female readers, are the “males in your life” comfortable in expressing their words?

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