Our little one, Darren, has his unique set of characters. No two kids have the same set of characters and in some way, he is different from his elder brother.

He is chatty, easy-going, independant, friendly, daring, cheerful and seldom angry. With his bubby character, he has indeed brought us much joy and laughters. His presence in our lives has taught me a different side of parenthood and that there is no “one approach” to parenting two different kids.

What concerns us is his lack of seriousness and concentrations, inability to  ask questions and talk only at inappropriate time, and inability to appreciate what is the right course of actions. Though we do not wish to be too demanding on him, at almost 7 years old, we find it challenging “getting him to pay attention”, “knowing what is Right and Wrong” and adjusting his certain course of actions - now that he is in Primary School.

Sometimes, his cheerful side leads to him laughing or even exclaiming loudly at any place. Most of the time, he tends to test our limits despite a firm “NO” and advices. Till now, he is not able to tell us completely the homework or messages that have been instructed by teachers. It is indeed not easy getting him to be serious in the tasks assigned to him although sometimes he can be serious if he chooses to. 

So, we realise that though we have not changed much in our coaching approach for our two boys, the outcomes are different. I reckon alot still relate back to personalities.

A year ago, Papa Ed was saying :” Darren will learn to be more sensible when he is in Primary One.”  We assumed so as he would be exposed to a different environment, expectations and experiences.

Today, a year later, Papa Ed recently said :” Don’t rush. He will learn to take things more seriously and be more well-behaved when he is in Primary Two.”  Then, shortly into the first week of the second school semester (i.e. last week), his Teacher wrote :” Darren is not behaving well in class this term. He beat a boy in the stomach.”

The message came as an ALARM.  Though the message on “Not behaving well” was vague and not elaborated, it is the “Beating others in the stomach” that is a clear “WRONG” course of action!  Ironically, I used to be the parent who complained to Teachers about Brendan being pushed and bullied. Now, it is our turn to receive complain on Darren. *frown*.

[So our way of teaching them what is "Right or Wrong" which used to work on Brendan does not seem to be understandable to Darren .]

Papa Ed’s first response was to give Darren a strict discipline.  Though he confessed that the action arose from a friendly game with his classmate, I did not find the reason acceptable.  As a result, a long time was spent explaining to him the consequences and the “DOs” and “Don’ts”.  He was also asked to think through and write down what he is forbidden to do in school.  We will be highly selective over the types of shows they watch and games they play from now on. 

So….

Parenthood is no easy process. Sometimes, we need to explain for our young ones’ wrong course of actions.  Most of the times, we have to find the right mode of effective communications or discipline to ensure that they behave correctly. Constantly, we have to ensure that our young ones do not model after the wrong actions (be it from us, siblings, babysitter, social circle or even entertainment programmes). Most importantly, we know that the method that works for Brendan might not always work for Darren.

Although I know that this particular case is not one of bullying, our little one ought to be constantly reminded on the appropriate behaviours and conducts.  He can be rough at times.  While our little one starts to appreciate the correct code of conduct for himself, we will also be keeping a strict eye to monitor.  It is time to exercise some boundaries for the kids….

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