Almost two months into my adjusted “Stay At Home” lifestyle, I still have friends commenting “Good life! You must be enjoying life being so FREE now.”

Routines…..

Huh?? “FREE”???

It’s a luxury I cannot afford. The “ROUTINES” are drowning me. If I could have a little bit of time out of these routines for self-pamper, I usually grab it gladly.

Contrary to what friends thought….

My days now start earlier than usual at the moment Brendan goes to school early in the morning. Then there is the rushing to complete some cleaning and washing, sending Darren off, tending to Yuki before I settle lunch again for Brendan who comes home in the early afternoon.

Sometimes, I wish I could enjoy a long afternoon nap or wake up only when the sun shines through.  That, however remains a wish. With Primary School Leaving Examinations (PSLE) round the corner, afternooons mean giving tuitions to Brendan or rushing him to others for tuition or running errands or fetching him home from extended days at school. Luckily, I have my dad who cooks dinner on my behalf on busier days. Otherwise, evenings are again for cooking, baking and then cleaning and more tuitions (this time for Darren), then spending some ”play or relax time with out boys” and then more housework.  Before I know it, it’s often already wee hours of the night and I am dead beat if I could only squeeze some energy to mark some of our boys’  homeworks or have a short chat with Papa Ed.

So, SAHM’s life is not luxurious.

A mother’s confession…..

I do miss those date nights in the past when I could enjoy a silent dinner with Papa Ed in privacy.

I do miss those days when I could sit in the comfort of an air-conditioned office - using my brain power mostly to plan and decide, spending my hand and brain power on emails/reports and signing documents, and exercising my listening and communication skills during meetings. I especially miss those lunch times when I could chat with colleagues and friends.

I do miss those days when I could spend more freely with own’s earning power and not to forget those training and travelling opportunities.

I am most afraid that my hands will turn hard and rough. I have been constantly applying moisturiser on my hands because those detergents can be so harmful to our delicate hands and they can get so painful /itchy when they crack/dry. Those gloves can be so cumbersome.

I admit no matter how superior we could be at work “bossing” others in the past, it is ironical that at home we end up wondering whether our kids or ourselves are the boss sometimes.

When patience runs thin having to put up with disobedient or bickering kids with long hours at home, many times I am so near to the verge of blowing my top. I have never recalled myself so near to losing my cool even during the most challenging moments in office. I guess with our kids, it is harder to maintain our composure when they simply refuse to obey sometimes.

I am really a clumsy homemaker and had a fall (after slipping on wet floor mopped by Darren) and ended up with a bruised palm and injured tailbone. Haha..I guess my usual diet of calcium has helped me to recover fast or either I am an obstinate bull. Doctor ordered two weeks’ rest but I choose to continue slogging and walking despite a painful injury. I am still on my feet, rushing here and there…

So, life remains a race and challenge with or without my other career hat to wear …..

After slightly more than a month, I was trying to break out of the routines…

Now.

I am glad I find time to brisk walk/jog with Darren every morning. Seriously, these housework and daily exercises have improved my stamina and I feel much healthier.

When Brendan is on extended days or having tuitions, I opt to enjoy my rare moments of facial/self-care sessions, reading at the library and shopping. Brendan and I spend short moments in the late afternoons on exercises.  On other days, I get to catch up with friends for lunch. 

Be Positive…..

Lifestyle has changed. For a moment, it can be demoralising if we have to keep comparing with what we used to be able to accomplish or afford while being a career woman.

Accepting a new life and looking at it positively, being a SAHM has its many positive aspects.

I am a more well-balanced person now. When I used to emphasise more on sitting (hee..hence building a mini belly in the past) and using my brain power, I now exercise my brain and also physical energy together and yet have more time to keep fit and ensure a more healthy lifestyle for the family too with healthier diet.

Nope. I do not allow our boys to rely on my presence at home to depend on me. Instead, building their independance is my first priority when I first set to be at home. Now, they help in performing simple household chores, pack their own room and have more appreciation of hardwork of what used to be their parents’ and domestic helpers’.

The moments I cherish most are the regular communications I have, individually, with our boys now and having our elder Brendan telling me that he understands that I give up a career to spend more time with them.

Frankly, this might not be the preferred lifestyle that I choose to lead BUT it is definitely a rewarding one measured by an enhanced BONDING and the healthy and better development of our boys.

This is what no amount of hard-earned money can buy.

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