So many CHILDHOOD WORRIES and  PARENTING CONCERNS

We carry him, in case he trips...

When they started to crawl….. we wanted them to take it A STEP AT A TIME because we were worried that they might hurt themselves.

When they started to walk and run……. we wished that they could be FIRM AND STEADY and worried that they might fall.

When they started to join other students in school….we educated them the significance of GOOD HYGIENCE  and worried that they might fall sick often.

When they started to learn to buy…..we told them to be PRUDENT and worried they might lose their money.

When they started to buy their own food…..we reminded them to eat HEATHILY and worried that they might get unhealthy by eating too much junk food.

When they started to make friends …..we shared with them the importance of VALUING GOOD FRIENDS and worried that they might learn bad behaviours from bad friends.

Then they started to go on internet ….and we cautioned them about CYBER BULLIES and worried that they might invite danger.

Then when they started to take examination…we warned them the importance of NOT CHEATING and worried that they might not perform well.

We stretch out a hand to grab him tight, as he gets mischievous

Many lessons shared with them, and many childhood and parental worries.

 Finally, every time they venture into new frontier, we worry “a little here and there”. Not only that, we want them to excel and yet be happy.

We put him on a stroller, to protect him from tiredness due to walking

 10 Years Into Motherhood

Looking back, I have gone into 10 years of motherhood. I am taking a PAUSE.  Is it time to make some adjustments to my Parenting Approach?  The kids have grown and developed with years, especially Brendan.

And………

Yes, I will still walk beside them.  However, instead of being by their sides to protect them and solve problems for them - I should trust that they have developed their skills and capabilities and are able to start taking care of themselves, to accept and learn from failures, and to embrace new challenges confidently.  In another word, it is time to “let go” a little, “worry less”, and “motivate more”.

Things changed. Children’s behaviour and development stages change. Well, it is never easy to adjust ourselves overnight but at least, it is time, that I take steps to “relax a little” and be a Confident Mother. My next difficult task will be to explain to my children that :

{In fact, I have started to convey these messages to Brendan. I hope that when he reads this post, it will help to reinforce these messages that our intentions are good. And Yes, we do still love them dearly}

1. When parents stop helping them in tasks, it doesn’t mean that we no longer love them (the objective is to build their independance)
2. When parents stop solving problems for them, it doesn’t mean that we are leaving them in the lurge (the objective is to develop their survival tactic and problem solving skill)
3. When parents stop showing them every step and giving direct answers, it doesn’t mean that we have become lazy (the objective is to force them to put on their “thinking caps” and explore more because one tends to learn more through exploring)
4. When parents stop using “kiddy words” to pacify a crying child, it doesn’t mean that we do not care anymore (the objective is to train them to be strong and brave)
5. When parents stop keeping them away from chores, it doesn’t mean that we are exploiting them (the objective is to prepare them for the future in taking care of themselves and their families)
6. When parents start giving them more responsibilities, it only means that we have confidence in them to do that little more (the objective is to train them to be responsible and prepare them to shoulder heavier responsibilities in future).

Maybe, I will soften my heart somehow. As long I remind myself that it is for their well-being and development, I will do my very best:)

{It will take time to adapt and have clear communications for children to understand that our intentions are good for them afterall.}

3 Responses to “Childhood Worries, Parenting Concerns”